Root For Your Rival

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How do you respond to opposition—from the people in your life? Those folk that, no matter how hard you try to please or choose peace with, seemingly cannot rest until you are annihilated, obliterated, and eliminated in reputation or status—in ‘comparison’ to them. They ‘keep score’ on your best moves. You can feel their sizing up and tension, and you know that when they get the chance, they are likely to pull the rug out from you in hopes that you will fall flat. 

 

There are indeed spiritual forces behind people’s actions to contend with, which are necessary to discern, but how is the best way to respond to these people?

 

They are often friends or co-workers that are insecure and struggle with envy—of you. They are usually insecure and jealous of what you have. They don’t realize the precious extent of their own unique abilities--they want YOUR creativity, wisdom, gifting, or whatever. And since they can’t have it or control it, they don’t want you to succeed or enjoy it, either. 

 

When you experience breakthrough or victory, outwardly they may cheer you on, because it is the nice thing to do, but behind your back, you can often catch them trying to one-up you, discrediting you, or employing subtle set-ups to trap you and keep you from moving forward. 

 

As an intuitively sensitive person, I pick up on the jealousy easily. I do not personally struggle with it. Over the years, I have kicked myself for ‘feeling jealous’ about somebody, only to realize that it wasn’t my jealousy—it was simply a nasty feeling ‘in my radar’ coming from a particular person toward me.

 

Some things to keep in mind: 

 

1.    It’s not about you. Though someone’s undermining of you certainly affects you, ultimately it is their own issue to deal with. 

 

2.    When you experience someone’s adversarial approach, that usually means you have great things going on in your life. Your spirit and character is shining out bright. This is good, but it means there may also be warfare because some people are unhappy and are looking for someone to blame. 

 

3.    Get smart--guard your heart.  Love the people, but do not ignore any warning signs about them, therefore confiding or sharing your deep treasures with them…this can put you at further risk. These folks may try to draw you into their confidence, only to use your information against you some day.

 

4.    Root for your rivals!  Bless them and do not curse them. Proactively compliment them and publicly point out their strengths. Pray for them—not for God to deal with their faults, but ask for prosperity for them. Your supportive intent will gather divine momentum and change the atmosphere simply by your exceptional response. 

 

5.    Of course blessing them requires some heart work within—in order to speak positively about them you will probably have to forgive them and release your own fears, angers, and uncertainties. 

 

6.    Trust in God to overcome the problem.  He sees it, knows it, and can deal with the situation better than you can. (If you are one who struggles with envy of others, recognize the toxicity that it causes within you and toward your friends, and release it!  Celebrate your own strengths, and work to develop them.  There is power in being uniquely fashioned and living your destiny to the full, like no one else can possibly do.  Exhilarating freedom is found when we stop comparing ourselves to others).  

 

7.    Continue to shine forth brightly with all of your strength.  Don’t allow someone else’s oppression to hold you back in any way.  A wise woman once told me, “The best revenge is living well”.

Natural and Spiritual Revelation Matters

Natural and Spiritual Revelation Matters

I wonder how prevalent insomnia is? Most people I know experience a sleepless night here or there, but for some, it is a chronic distressing dilemma. Sometimes I think our sleeplessness may stem from our need for help and God may have a solution.  Nighttime stillness may serve as an invitation to focus and listen, since we often don't pay enough attention during the day.   

 

Earlier this summer I couldn’t sleep around 3 AM, so I got out of bed and let the dogs out into the backyard. Everything was extremely quiet except for a faint humming sound. I glanced up into the doorway between the inside and outside doors, and there was a massive wasp nest, covered with buzzing critters, just inches from my face!

 

I quickly shut the door so they couldn’t fly into the house, and I felt amazed to realize that they had been building for weeks in a high-traffic area, and how in the world had we not noticed their busy construction site? 

 

And, I'm thinking, as usual, 'If this were a dream, what would it mean?"  

 

I eventually went back to sleep and dreamed I discovered the wasp nest and told my husband, and that while we agreed about the degree of danger, we differed on the best way to remove it.  While we fussed with each other, the nest continued to grow very fast.  My pounding heart woke me up. 

 

Sigh….I got up again to pray about my dream and realized there was an area in our marriage that we had just been discussing--a pesky little issue—that we had semi-addressed but didn't agree on the approach of actually dealing with it.

 

Most problems in relationships occur when someone is ‘bugged’, matters are not confronted, and unhealthy patterns accumulate until someone gets stung and there is real pain.

 

I realized with a little shock that I needed to be more alert and vigilant in my ‘house-cleaning’ in all areas of life, to not allow anything negative to take the opportunity to roost or take root.

 

So, that day, my husband and I joined forces with a renewed vigor to eradicate all potential stingers, ticks, weevils, worms, borers, maggots, moths--anything bent toward destruction of health and peace.

 

And then, grateful for adventures and revelation during the night, I took a nap and slept bug-free.

Truth or Fiction: You ARE What you Wear?

Truth or Fiction: You ARE What you Wear?

Yesterday my sunglasses broke, and in preparing for a trip to a bright desert, a gal has to have good quality shades, so I headed out to my favorite designer fashion store—Walmart.  I picked out a few possibilities, only to discover there was no mirror in the sunglasses aisle! 

For a moment I grappled with my conflicting thoughts.  What were the Walmart people thinking?  That no one wants to check out how they look before they make a sunglass purchase?  Or, am I vain because I want to make sure I look GOOD before venturing outside in the sunlight?  Am I just supposed to pick one and go with it, hoping for the best in function as well as appearance?

The dilemma reminded me of a mini-crisis I faced many years ago.  I had spent several years in a healing process, trying to recover from severe trauma that had kept me relatively incapacitated and extremely fearful.  Counseling, confronting, processing, forgiving, releasing, and tears brought massive change into my life. 

I had healed extensively but it wasn’t until I experienced a specific breakthrough that my identity was transformed from Victim into Victor.  I began to come alive for the first time in my life.  Not just coping but really living. 

At that time, it was almost winter, and I needed a new coat. I didn’t have any other coats in my closet and money was tight, (I could choose only one), so went to Burlington Coat Factory and began to peruse the racks of coats.  So many styles to choose from!  But at that point in my life, I didn’t know WHO I was:  Was I black leather, sexy sleek?  Pink fluffy, flashy, and cute?  Sporty and active?  Boring brown corduroy to blend in?

In dreams, clothing represents an outward appearance of the qualities or equipping within. Coats can portray special abilities or personality (think of Joseph’s coat of many colors).

I had an internal meltdown right there in the store, overwhelmed with the choices, not so much regarding coats, but in identity—how I perceive myself and present myself to the world.  I wanted to reflect the ‘real me’.  But who was that?

After careful deliberation, I finally decided on a denim coat with soft, fluffy flannel inside--because it was COMFORTABLE.  

Most of us have closets full of coats and clothing fit for any occasion. What is your favorite to wear out in public?  What does that outfit reveal about you? And, what would you LIKE to ‘sport’ if you knew you could get away with it? What do you have inside of you that the world needs to enjoy?

Sew What?

Try this sometime: pick a massive creative project and ask a friend to help you with it.  Last weekend my friend and I ‘built a quilt’.  We let our funky imaginations take a vacation from daily demands to mingle and design something colorful and unique, just for the fun of it.

Our masterpiece is not quite finished, but we made great progress. As we assembled the quilt, our friendship deepened as we fashioned it with lots of words, spiritual pondering, laughs, tears, good food, and even a little wine. 

Of course I got to thinking metaphorically about quilting and sewing--  “If this were a dream, what would it mean?”

Some thoughts: 

         --Life is like a quilt. Experiences and friends, and choices are the pieces that give us personality—they make up the ‘fabric’ of who we are.  

          --Sewing is a process of taking those pieces—light and dark, positive and negative, embracing them all, and fitting them together for the best overall effect. Contrasting light and dark colors make the finished product more striking and beautiful. 

         --Sometimes you have to rip out a seam for a ‘do-over’.  The more often you have to do this, the more careful you become—you learn to discern before you bond parts together.

         --You have to dream a bit in order to discover the ‘big picture.” You can get easily lost in the million little pieces if you do not keep the larger perspective in mind. 

         --Complicated things in life are way more get easier and more enjoyable if you get help and don’t go it alone.

         --Word play:  ‘Sowing’ thoughts, pieces of your heart, ideas, and memories—parts of yourself--and then receiving from others fosters unity and sweetness in relationship.  

         --A few bucks on fabric and a couple of days cutting and sewing and talking:  Amazing results!

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Whether you are a builder, quilter, writer, mother, teacher—you are responsible for piecing parts of life together for yourself and for others.  What comes to your mind to add to this ‘quilt of thoughts’? 

Merry's dream blog

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

Do You Want the Good News or the Bad News?

My hairdresser and I got the giggles recently. I spent a couple of hours in her salon, getting some blonde ‘restored’. We usually catch up and laugh a lot together while she makes me beautiful. Meanwhile, we listened as the local radio station gave news bursts every fifteen minutes, among the lively, jazzy music.

I do scan news headlines every day, but am not a fan of watching or listening to news reports, so the frequent barrage of bizarre events began to weigh me down. 

 

After an hour or so, our mood was quite somber and my friend asked, ‘Are you ok?”  My sarcastic response was, “No!  The terrorists are out to kill everyone, goopy oil is covering our entire planet, fires, bombs, accidents, and earthquakes are shaking and breaking everything. If we survive any or all of that, we will surely be annihilated by the poor economy, dishonest leaders, health care costs, and the summer heat wave! We are all going to die horrible, tragic deaths!” 

 

We laughed until we cried.  What else are hairdressers for, besides glamour?

 

Negativity had reached its ‘critical mass’ (a phrase frequently used these days) to the tipping point, and we needed to release the tension.  No wonder people are overwhelmed and full of rage and hopelessness. Is the whole world really in as bad a mess as our newscasters dispatch? 

 

To what extent do we allow the ‘choosers of news’ to influence our thoughts and emotions? Why is ‘news’ always defined by strictly negative happenings? 

 

I know there is bad stuff out there, but there is also some amazingly good stuff too.  What would our outlook be like if our default was to focus on the fabulous, the miraculous, joyful, hopeful things that happen around us every day? 

 

To make it more personal, what if we were to talk to people about the POSITIVE things we see—in them—rather than judge or criticize? 

 

I once heard someone say, “Don’t tell people what’s wrong with them.  They already know that. Tell them what they don’t know—the encouraging, sweet things you see in their life.”

 

Don’t we all need to hear—and share--more good news?