Fully Present

Fully Present

Submitted by Merry Bruton on Mon, 05/16/2011 - 5:13pm

When is the last time you spent an afternoon with someone without interruption of any kind? How did that feel?

I had to think back to quite a while ago. It had to involve a time NOT in a public place, not ordering food or drink of any kind, with cell phones muted and set aside--an extremely rare occurrence these days.

Consistently, we may schedule a meeting with someone in Starbucks or in a restaurant and start to dig deep into each others' lives. A deep personal thought begins to take verbal shape, when....

--the waiter appears to take our order

--we need a drink refill

--another friend stops by to visit

--our phone beeps with email, call, reminder, or text. Oops, forgot to mute it!

--our friend's phone rings, beeps, or dings--and they answer it, while we are in mid-sentence

I admire folks who can multi-task well. A business owner can get a boat-load of work done from any mobile position anywhere in the world. And once in a while there is an emergency we need to know about. But there are definitely down sides to allowing immediate technological access.

In relationships, something gets lost when we are sharing about a story or a personal dilemma to someone we've scheduled time for, and suddenly we realize we are talking to ourselves, because our companion is reading and responding to a text instead of listening. Can't it wait a FEW more minutes so we can enjoy our time together?  

What do I communicate to people when I abruptly leave a face-to-face conversation and focus on my phone or turn my eyes toward the TV?  I am essentially saying, "You are not important enough to warrant my full attention."

I often see couples or families walking or eating out together, while one parent disappears into cell-phone-land, while the others wait and hope for a quick return of 'dad' or 'mom' or 'date' time.

The problem is not with technology, but with our values and choices.

I remember being a young mother who always had laundry to fold, dishes to wash, meals to prepare, messes to clean up, and yet my toddler closely clung, clamoring for my expert assistance in building a tower from blocks or book reading. I decided eventually that heart tending was my highest priority. Easier said than done, with all the distractions. I had to force myself to sit in the floor and put my focus solely on becoming the best block stacking, Seuss-reading mother...ever.

In order for me to interpret dreams--or to connect with people at a sacred level--I must get quiet, shut down everything else to focus on the task at hand. I'd get in trouble and not deliver anything of quality if I tried to decipher dreams or try to connect at a deep level with anyone while chatting online or updating my Facebook status.

Question: How many people do you have in your life who deserve and receive your undivided, 'unplugged' time? Are you able to set everything aside and be fully present for them? If so, how do you manage it?  If not, why not?

Thank you for reading 

Puzzle Solving--in Dream Interpretation and in Life

Submitted by Merry Bruton on Wed, 05/04/2011 - 1:12pm

Every single day brings challenges that require personal stretching in our problem-solving skills. How many decisions do you suppose we have to make in any given 24-hour period? 'Experts' say anywhere between 500 and 35,000 per day, from trivial to mega-selections:

What do I wear today?

What's for lunch?

Which road route do I take?

How do I get along with my co-worker or a certain family member?

How do I navigate the automated customer service voice maze?

Can I get all my projects accomplished today?

How do I stretch my finances to cover all my family's needs?

Chemotherapy, surgery, or radiation?

Who am I and what is my purpose in life?

Just to name a few....

Life is full of decision making. We get to continually test and strengthen our puzzle solving skills, especially when other people are involved. Like putting an actual jigsaw puzzle together--some basic principles might apply:

1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally. Trying to 'make' personalities, skills, and ideas work together when they are perhaps not supposed to, can be very frustrating for those being teamed up--and for those doing the teaming.

2. Establish borders first. Cast vision for the big picture and set practical expectations in view. This gives a sense of security and order for all other pieces to hinge upon.

3. Every puzzle goes together bit by bit, piece by piece, and every single piece is crucial. Because we can't instantly see where all pieces fit does not mean they don't belong--we are just not sure where...yet.

4. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are very surprising. Look carefully at each piece to see if it fits with another. Often getting one area put together right can give clarity on the next.

5. If pieces are missing, the puzzle cannot be completed. Look for any missing pieces so the entire undertaking isn't stopped or frustrated by what is missing.

6. It is ok to look at the picture on the box. Envisioning the clear, big picture can help with finding where to start looking for the right pieces.

7. Allow others to give input into your puzzle solving. Fresh eyes see what we do not see. *

(All these can also apply to dream interpretation)

*Wisdom adapted from my friend Ben Fike

Effective Frequency

Effective Frequency

Submitted by Merry Bruton on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 11:22am

Do you have a message that you want the world to hear? Perhaps you are called to get the word out about a particular issue, whether it is a personal lesson learned, a job that requires advertising for your product or service, or something else you are quite passionate about. How do you get people to listen....and take action?

The marketing world emphasizes the principle of Effective Frequency.

What’s Effective Frequency? Effective frequency is the number of times people must be exposed to a message (or advertising) before they act on it. Experts debate on how many times are necessary--every person is different. Statistics show that on average, people need to be exposed to a message or see an ad seven to twenty times before they 'buy' into it.

A London businessman, Thomas Smith, wrote the following in 1885 regarding advertising. I've modified it a little bit to expand the idea beyond just sales:

1. The first time people look at any given ad or message they don’t even see it.

2. The second time, they don’t notice it.

3. The third time, they are aware that it is there.

4. The fourth time, they have a fleeting sense that they’ve seen it somewhere before.

5. The fifth time, they actually read the ad or listen to the message more fully.

6. The sixth time they thumb their nose at it.

7. The seventh time, they start to get a little irritated with it.

8. The eighth time, they start to think, “Here’s that weird, confounded idea again.”

9. The ninth time, they start to wonder if they’re missing out on something.

10. The tenth time, they ask their friends and neighbors if they’ve tried it.

11. The eleventh time, they wonder how the company is paying for all these ads, investing more and more to get the word out.

12. The twelfth time, they start to think that it must be a good product.

13. The thirteenth time, they start to feel the product or idea actually has value.

14. The fourteenth time, they start to remember wanting exactly this solution for a long time.

15. The fifteenth time, they start to yearn for it because they feel they can’t afford it.

16. The sixteenth time, they accept the fact that they will go for it sometime in the future.

17. The seventeenth time, they make a note to bite the bullet.

18. The eighteenth time, they curse their poverty for not allowing them to buy into this terrific concept.

19. The nineteenth time, they count their money, their time, and their resources very carefully.

20. The twentieth time prospects see the message, they believe and commit to what is being offered.

What do you want to communicate?  If you have a message you want to share with the world, be consistent in all your actions and words. The more people see you and what you have to offer in life--with effective frequency--the more they will begin to listen and eventually receive. So, keep up the good work....and keep talking about it.

Since I'm posting this blog on my own dream interpretation website, my message (I think it is worth repeating) is:

1) Listen to your dreams--to determine your destiny and your direction. Your dreams are nighttime messages that can guide you in your waking life. Unlocking your dream meaningscan bring a greater spiritual understanding of your current circumstances, answers to dilemmas you may be experiencing, and directions to step more fully into your life’s destiny or calling.

2) Listen to your dreams--to determine your destiny and your direction. Your dreams are nighttime messages that can guide you in your waking life. Unlocking your dream meanings can bring a greater spiritual understanding of your current circumstances, answers to dilemmas you may be experiencing, and directions to step more fully into your life’s destiny or calling.

3) Listen to your dreams--to determine your destiny and your direction. Your dreams are nighttime messages that can guide you in your waking life. Unlocking your dream meanings can bring a greater spiritual understanding of your current circumstances, answers to dilemmas you may be experiencing, and directions to step more fully into your life’s destiny or calling.

4) . . . now read it about 17 more times! . . . Let us know how we can help you with your dreams. 

 

Weed Season

Weed Season

Submitted by Merry Bruton 

Spring has sprung in our neighborhood--trees are leafing out and my rosebushes started blooming yesterday. I saw a hummingbird searching for food a couple of weeks ago. Warm, sunny temperatures beg for open windows and outdoor projects. Fresh grass sprigs are slowly turning lawns from dry brown to more vibrant greenish hues.

Spring ushers in colorful life from a season of dormancy. I don't know anyone who does not relish the end of winter.

But also along with the new growth comes prolific proliferation of bugs, pollen, and weeds.
The weeds seem to grow ten times as quickly as the grass does. So when I scrutinize my lawn, a usually well-manicured crop of beauty, the weeds seem most visible. In time, the grass overtakes them but for a while, we have to invest time plucking them out of the ground from the roots, before they birth and spread more weed seeds. We must tend and water the grass and deal with the weeds during this season for a healthy summer show.

Many of us also get the urge for 'Spring cleaning' where we not only clear up the winter debris outside, but also organize the inside of our homes as well. Gut out the closets, change out decor, wash the windows for better sunlit view.

Since we spend time transitioning from one season to the next in our physical lives, wouldn't this be a perfect time to parallel within our spiritual lives, as well? Since we are in clearing and planting mode, why don't we also:

* Do a self-check to see if anything unhealthy has sprung up and is thriving in our mind or heart.  Is there any bitterness or unforgiveness that sours our peace or relationships? Any patterns of addiction or laziness that keep us from living our best? Any negative self-thoughts or words we speak to ourself or others that we need to reverse?

* Purge the 'clutter'.  Streamline our priorities. Attack toxic roots with vengeance. Prune out the distractions, the things we say 'yes' to regarding time and relationships, but are not good for us, activities that sap our strength and make us mutter.

* Prepare our heart. Spend time dreaming about our future. Dream big! Place destiny goals visibly on the horizon to aim for. Cultivate space in our life for new 'fruit' by eating healthier, exercising more, working smarter, planning more fun and relaxation. Pray for daily downloads of Divine direction, strategy, and peace.

* Feed our spirit. Perhaps we need some 'fertilizer' to stimulate a new growing season, nurture our strength, sustain our focus for the long haul. Without continual spiritual rejuvenation, our wells run dry more quickly and we find ourselves wilting too easily.

If you find yourself dragging through life, consistently fighting prickly issues, unsatisfied and unfulfilled with the 'view', take some time to assess how to make your garden thrive better...weed out the negative, plant what is positive. Let Spirit's sunlight transform your life so you can anticipate an abundant harvest!

No Offense!

No Offense!

Submitted by Merry Bruton on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 3:34pm

"No offense, but you're a jerk, and our relationship is finished!" Have you ever knowingly or unknowingly messed up and then found yourself on the receiving end of similar words or sentiments? Or perhaps you've felt deeply hurt by someone's actions and you responded in such a manner. Thinking back, whether we were the 'offender' or the 'offendee', it is difficult to imagine how a situation got so explosive so quickly---how things could go so wrong so fast?

Each of us is unique and complicated, and nurturing our relationships, well, it requires work! Especially when conflict occurs.

But there is another unseen factor that most of us don't take into consideration when emotions run high--the Spirit of Offense. I believe there are positive forces as well as negative spiritual forces at work in the world, and they influence people, to the degree that we allow. And Mr. Offense is always strategizing against us, planting negative thoughts, causing suspicion and one-sided blindness, reminding us of 'our rights' and what we 'deserve' and didn't get. Offense strikes as a hidden giant, an active force both at causing us to offend--as well as to get offended.

Many folks are receiving dreams from God right now, highlighting and confirming the presence and influence of Offense--so that we can aggressively guard against cooperating in any way with this nasty spirit whose aim is to stir up division and destruction.

The Offending spirit's influence causes folks to:

* Assume the worst about people's actions and intent

* Slice, dice (with attacking words) and run

* Immediately feel better having vented, not considering the wounds and blood trails left behind

* Be driven by a combo of hot temper, stewing, all or nothing thinking, resentment, jealousy, score-keeping, 'road rage style' of reacting

* Attack in a cruel, cutting way, at an inopportune moment for the 'target'

* Live in Victim mentality--react from 'hot button' issues, unhealed wounds, past rejection, etc.

* Badmouth without discretion

* Not be able to see the 'other side' of the issue

"What have I done to deserve this?" We may ask ourselves this question, but often not in the right way. We should be asking, "What is in me that may be attracting the spirit of offense? Have I offended someone and not apologized and asked for forgiveness? Have I inflicted a wound that I need to properly address? Have I opened a door for the spirit of Offense to interpret as a welcome 'invitation' to wreak havoc in my life?

We do not have to obey old habit patterns that cause irritations in our relationships. We ask ourselves, "What are my hot buttons that may cause me to easily get offended at people?" If we possess a nasty offense pattern in our life, we can trace the bad fruit back to the rotting roots and terminate those deadly suckers. If we carefully rid ourselves of offense, we can block much trouble off at the pass.

Remedies for successfully combating Offense:

* Recognize and resist any supernatural presence that fiercely empowers hurt emotions

* Quickly apologize for offending, and quickly forgive all offenses toward us

* Choose love. Love first thinks the best of people

* Take authority! Refuse every negative thought spirit, and word (no self-muttering)

* Reverse the process--choose the high road. Bless and do not curse (even secretly), choose not to respond in ugly fashion no matter what was done or how we feel.

* Take responsibility for our every word or action

Sometimes we are on the verge of a breakthrough and are making a difference in a situation, and we just get blindsided by someone who is succumbing to Offense, so that we get distracted from success--a not-so-subtle spiritual enemy sabotage. In such cases, we are wise to recognize the root cause and respond with understanding compassion, knowing who the real 'enemy' is.

Life is tricky enough without recognizing and allowing Offense and reactionary Defense to run the show. The upside:  every Offense is an opportunity for growth!

Unleashing the Leashed

Unleashing the Leashed

In the past two months I have begun to notice something new as I go about my daily activities. I'm not a 'psychic' but I 'see' stuff. It is normal for me to sense emotions or struggles from within a person near me, or to 'know' something about someone I'm getting ready to meet. The big question is, 'What do I do with what I see?"

Themes often develop as I enter new learning seasons.

Lately I have been seeing and thinking about--leashes.

It started when I was visiting Las Vegas a few weeks ago. I saw an older man walking through an extremely crowded room with a scantily-clad, stiletto-heeled woman. He was 'leading' her around using a bling-studded leash--fastened to a spiked collar around her neck.

The sight stopped me dead in my tracks. Lots of questions flooded my mind. I felt sorry for anyone choosing to walk around in public like that. And I watched that poor lady get jerked around. I asked Spirit to show me what was going on, and the answer was, "Pray for them, pay attention, keep watching."

Then, as I was walking through a casino early the next morning, I saw another man wearing a stretchy lanyard around his neck, attached to a credit card--that was inserted into a slot machine. His red, bleary eyes and the look on his face told me he had been gambling all night and was way down on his 'luck', with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other.  He was tethered to that slot machine via 'leash'.

The more I observed, the more I began to 'see' people and their chains, or the things they choose to 'leash' themselves to. Leashes are tools intended for restraint and control, mainly for animals. (For toddlers, too, though that subject is controversial). And many of the unhealthy 'people leashes' probably start out harmless or entertaining for awhile, but become addictions that take control and do the leading. Who becomes the 'master' in charge?

Interestingly enough, after my trip to Las Vegas, I took my two little dogs out to our local trail for their usual walk and training time. They were on my heels when a young lady passed by with her dog on one of those long retractable leashes. She circled around me, screamed at me to 'get control' of my dogs, to get them out of her way, and she threatened me--this has happened several times. I have felt blindsided and whiplashed by her rage--over a leash? (or maybe not)! Are these coincidental timings of  'leash' situations? Nah! 

I'm discovering that more and more people are leashed to terrors, ruts, and angers that deeply restrict their quality of life. They are bonded to things that may seem invisible to the average eye. And they do not know how to get free.

What is the purpose for receiving these pieces of revelation?

With knowledge comes responsibility--are we willing to look beyond people's scary or puzzling actions--to offer a smile in response, an encouraging word, a listening ear, or a helping hand toward freedom? We are to ask--what is behind that behavior? Not to judge, but to have compassion, to be willing to help.  

Perhaps with love, we can Usher in an Ultimate Unleashing.

Release!

Entitlement

Entitlement

Submitted by Merry Bruton on Fri, 02/18/2011 - 10:09am

A buzzword that keeps appearing on my radar these days is 'entitlement'--the notion or belief that one (or oneself) is deserving of some particular reward or benefit (Wikipedia). Often entitlement refers to monetary 'rights' or handouts owed to a person by government programs--"I'm not working, so someone else needs to pay my bills." Touchy subject, especially nowadays regarding health insurance...don't get me started on that one, though.

Narcissistic people are masters of entitlement, holding unreasonable expectations of preferred treatment because they are somehow more 'special', and if they don't get what they think they deserve, everyone around them pays a price in one way or another.

You hear the phrases, "Not fair!" "I deserve better!" "They OWE me!" "I need, I want. Me! Me! MEEE!" The 'ME Monster' rears its head and it is not a pretty picture--obvious to everyone except to the superior person herself.

Let's face it, our society is increasingly becoming more self-centered--we get impatient when we have to wait in line, when our internet goes down for five minutes, when we have to work extra time to complete a project, or when someone else doesn't follow through on a commitment. We want what we want, when we want it. And we tend to blame others and complain when we are feeling inconvenienced.

Can I serve up some cheese to go with the whine?

Sometimes, unknowingly, we set ourselves up for the toxic "you owe me" dance.

We bestow upon ourselves a Title.

I'm a 'Mrs.' That means I'm married and with that title comes a 'stamp' that signifies I'm committed to someone in marriage. I love being a Mrs.--it has great benefits--and responsibilities. Some titles designate who we are and what we do.  

But we take other titles that designate who we think we are, a subtle self-promotion tactic: I'm an Apostle/Expert/Master/Count/Diva/Grand Poo-Bah. I want to be called "Dr. Who-Zit". I saw in the news the other day someone named "The Very Reverend So-and-So."

When we take a title, we create expectations of ourselves, and we place our expectations on others. We then feel--Entitled.

And few people relish having to  honor our entitlements. Awkward!

If we are really good at something, people know it without our deliberately calling attention to it.

A grace-filled life comes from adopting a humble, giving attitude--an "I am grateful and want to give to the world" outlook, rather than a potentially score-keeping, "I deserve to receive" mantra.

My Favorite teacher says, "Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you'll get the wind knocked out of you.  But if you're content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty." (Matthew 23:11-12)